A Dose of Reality

Over the last few months we've been dealing with issues of "reality" and preparation. My mother is 80 years old and has been battling breast cancer for several years now, had to be admitted to the hospital between Christmas and New Years.  She was very sick, and I admit, we thought it might be the end. (She's alright now, getting stronger every day). She was in the hospital for about a week, then moved to a rehab facility to help her get strong enough to go back home. She's very independent and won't hear of an assisted living facility (not to mention how she'd afford it).

This brought up all kinds of issues for my brother, my sister and I. None of us are in a position to be able to bring her into our homes and care for her. It made me think of how to, or if I even should, tell the boys if something had indeed happened to her. They know who she is - Nanny. They seem to be happy when they first see her. They'll "check her out" and then be on their way to whatever they were doing before she came in. Being autistic, I realize that they don't see her very often, would they understand "passing on"? I'm not so sure.

I began thinking about the possibility of something happening to my husband and/or myself. Who will take care of the boys? Where will they live? Do we have the right amount of life insurance? Savings? Will the boys needs be met? So many questions. I realized that for the last few years we had been talking about wills, trusts, guardianship, etc. Still unsure of everything we need, but we hadn't put anything on paper yet. So now reality had come our way... it's time to get a move on it.

Here's what I've found (so far) that parents should have in case the worst (GOD forbid) should happen (from the special needs parents point of view anyway):

1. A basic will - (free online at the following link):          http://www.rocketlawyer.com/
2. Apply for supplemental security income (SSI) for your child at:                      http://www.ssa.gov/applyfordisability/child.htm
3. Information for social security benefits for children:                                         http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10085.pdf
4. Information on social security survivor benefits:                                              http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10084.pdf
5. Temporary Guardianship papers:                                                    https://www.rocketlawyer.com/secure/interview/questions.aspx?document=34510908#q1      [so the person who assumes guardianship of you child has what's needed until the will is formalized]
6. Medical history & medical permission forms:          http://www.acep.org/medicalforms/
7. Child's Information:          Schedules, Routines, Medicines, Doctor's information, Legal Documents, agencies numbers and case worker names, school information, favorite toys, list of things that comfort, what stims are used & why (if you know), anything else that would be most helpful for your kiddos

This is just the beginning. You don't want anything left to chance - if you can help it. I think I'm going to start a notebook with dividers and simply add information to it as I go. That way, not only will it serve as a reminder for us, but make it easy to add things to it as we learn about them.

From a mother's heart - GOD willing nothing happens to us before our boys are grown and on their path (whatever that may be). Preparing them for everything we can possibly think of is just another way of helping them.
God Bless