The Boys Come Home (3)

Finally, after a meeting during the day, an overnight stay, and another trip to CPS to verify... the boys came home. The neat thing (to us) was they came home on their 4 month birthday. We were overjoyed! As most first-time parents know (especially moms I think - maybe dads too)... you can watch that baby for hours.

Everyone asked if it was hard. The beginning really wasn't. Whenever I'd call, I had help from my wonderful sister and her girls. Understand, these were our 1st babies... we didn't know any different. Like bringing home the first baby addition to your family, you have to learn as you go. We just had two. They really were easy in the beginning. I am grateful for those days, sometimes I long for them.

We knew that we could have issues from the beginning. But, we thought it might be from the birth mother, after all, because we were going through the foster/adopt system, we had to foster these beautiful boys for six months before we could actually adopt. Little did I know they were going to grow much, much more difficult. But not because of the system, but I wouldn't trade it. Our boys are totally worth it!

Meeting Daniel & Anthony (2)

We had tried to have children for many, many, many years... After trying everything you can imagine, we finally came to the conclusion it just wasn't what GOD had in mind for us. So, after researching our options and deciding we really wanted children, we decided to adopt through our local foster/adopt program (that would be another blog entirely). Anyway, after doing everything we needed to, we finally started the adoption process.

With the questionnaires, interviews, fingerprints, etc. out of the way, we were finally at the point of waiting waiting for our worker to find the right match for our family. We had prayed and discussed what we thought might be the "right fit" for our family. And we prepared - the room was set for a little girl - as young as possible would be great. So we waited and waited and waited.

After a few months of waiting our worker had found the perfect match, based on knowing us so well as this point. (You get very close to someone who has very intimate details of your family). It would be a "little different" than our thought of the right match. If we would be willing, she had twins... boys... that she'd like us to meet. After a deep breath, and swallowing the lump in my throat, I told her I would discuss it with Steve, pray on it together and get back to her the next day. Needless to say, we agreed to meet the boys.



Well, after asking many questions and talking about many concerns... Oh, who are we kidding, we fell in love right away.

Where It All Begins

Once upon a time, when fairy tales ruled... people met, fell in love, married, had children, then grew old together. No problems, life was good, shoot, life was perfect.

I'm not trying to burst any bubbles, but, the fairy tales lied. Nothing is perfect. There I said it. No one is promised life without rain... but, there are raincoats, umbrellas, boots. Do we choose to go forward regardless of the problems, or do we wallow in them.

In my world, nothing has ever been exactly what it seemed. And to be honest, I've learned that I'm ok with that. I don't need to be liked or accepted. I don't need someone else's approval for my clothes, my looks, or my religion. But... if you expect me to treat you one way, please treat me the same.

Now that's out of the way, on to the reason why I've started this blog.

One, I've always loved to write. If no one ever reads this then I'm ok with that. It's the only way I've ever been comfortable expressing myself. I'm using a public forum simply because I hope just one person would read it and feel a little less alone in their struggle. Maybe help someone find answers I had a hard time finding and confirming.

Two, for two beautiful boys we have been blessed to call sons. They have autism. The dreaded "condition" that everyone's heard of, but not many people seem to know what it is.

Well, one dictionary says autism is: a developmental disorder characterized by severe deficits in social interaction and communication and by abnormal behavior patterns, such as repetition of specific movements or a tendency to focus on certain objects. Autism is evident in the first years of life. It's cause is unknown.

At this time there is <u>NO cure for autism</u>. There are programs, wonderful programs to help those with autism "function" in the world. To help them replicate things others call "normal" behavior. To help them find a way to communicate with others. To help them appear to be a more "typical" child, instead of "atypical".

I'll write more about those later, as well as how I came to write this journal.
Night.