Family Time

I've heard of many families that try to have a "family night" or "family time" together. I love that idea and think it's one of the best things you can do for your family - spend time together for no reason other than to be together and have fun. When we brought the boys home, I dreamed of all the things we'd do together someday... play sports, watch movies, play games, maybe, just maybe - talk about girls they like, etc. Since being diagnosed with ASD*, those thoughts have disappeared changed. We now hope to do those things together, more than expect it. We try to do things again and again because 1 day they will play something and others they won't.

We've learned that just because they have autism doesn't mean they can't ever do those things, it just means it will be in their way and their time, not ours. So we started with television and movies. First we watched Sprout (together) - they had great kids shows (not to say they don't now), then it was watched Discovery Kids, until they took it off our lineup  - LOVED that channel. We learned things on Discovery Kids, the boys would sing and dance to Hi-5! Now it's Disney Jr. the Channel. They will actually request (mostly Anthony - sometimes Daniel) shows on there. Don't get me wrong, they only get a couple of hours opportunity to watch television a day, and they won't usually sit there for an entire program. They bounce from one room to the next.

Then there are family movies, so many out there to choose from. Like many kiddos they find a movie they like and want to watch it over and over. I'm guessing that because of the autism the boys will watch a movie over and over, so many times that we had to get the digital copy and put them on their iPods. They will watch the movie so much that they can use the fast forward, rewind, or even the chapter selection to find a particular part. They will find the spot they want to watch from any point in the movie within seconds of starting it. Before I can even figure out where the story is at, they've jumped to the part they want to see.

Trying to go the movies can be very challenging for many people on the spectrum. The first movie we took the kiddos to was Cars2... they actually sat still with their eyes glued to the screen. I was speechless, after all I'd read and heard from other parents with kiddos on the spectrum, I'd expected them to need to run around every so often. We were ready for the potential meltdown because of the volume, or the feel of the chairs, the lights from the screen or any of the other things that can trigger one. We tried to account for almost any situation that might develop. We were so excited because we could tell the boys really enjoyed it.

Going to the playground, the park, the zoo or anywhere else outdoors takes on new meaning as well. They love to run (like most kiddos). Unfortunately since Daniel has elopement (wandering) issues, we can't let them run and just expect them to come back. So, we have to run too... and are they FAST! We make a point of going to playgrounds that are far away from the major roads, and have a fence if possible.

Leisure games are out in our house and educational games are in. We can sit down with the boys and get them help them (for now) to play basic color, counting and matching games. That usually only lasts from 5 - 10 minutes. They do love daddy time though - they are all boy! They can't go one night with having an intense rough-housing session with dad. I love it, to watch the smiles go from ear to ear - well let's just say my smile is just as big.

When we do things together, we try to make it as fun as we can - or at least as interesting as possible. I can only imagine what someone must think when they walk by us. Two adults totally focused on the kids, letting the kiddos lead the way. If they run - we run (well, my husband does - I have bad knees). If they try something new, we are there cheering them on like they are doing something for the first time. I think it's what helps keep us young - trying to keep up with 6 year old twins - and trying to relate on a daily basis. They help us "play" in a whole new way, as if play has more meaning than anything in the whole world. Because at that moment in time... it is.

 

From a mother's heart - Many kiddos with autism "live in the moment" (I think most young kiddos in general do), our job is to learn (or remember) to do the same. That makes for some of the best family time ever!
God Bless!



ASD (autism spectrum disorder);