No Excuse For Rude!

I've been working on today's blog for over a week now. First I was going to write about our recent vacation, but it didn't go all that well. Since I would rather highlight the good and/or positive things that happen in our lives with regards to autism, I thought I'd write about something else. Then I realized I wasn't being honest about our autism journey if I don't include the "ugly" parts too. After all, this is about learning, teaching and relating to others who have kiddos on the spectrum, have some form autism themselves, or are curious about it.

So, this is going to be about our not-so-good family vacation.

This spring we went to Disneyland for 6 days and 5 nights. We usually go at a time when the park is "relatively quiet" since the boys have ASD* and have different sensory issues. We've gone a couple of times a year for the past few years and it usually has great results. The boys usually "open up" and it becomes easier to communicate with them. They are more interested and engaged with us, in ABA** therapy and at school after we go. Because of our kiddos have special needs, we have developed a general routine when we to Disneyland and it usually helps us have a good time.

I was a little curious how this time would go since the DAS*** card for special needs had been changed (wrote about in last October's blog) the last time we went. This was our first full week of using the pass, last time we went, the pass for special needs changed midweek. I was hoping it would go better than the reviews I had been reading from other families. For us, the pass helped us most of the time, so I really have no complaints about the pass in general. I will discuss it again on another blog, what worked and didn't work for us (there could definitely be improvement to the pass).

We were told by someone on the "staff" that Southern California schools had "reorganized" their schools to take spring break at different times throughout the months of March and April. It certainly seemed true. It was the busiest we have ever seen it during any of our previous vacations.

When we got off the freeway, onto a road that generally takes about 5 minutes to reach our hotel... we came to a stand still. The boys "went off" right away because they knew where we were and couldn't understand why we weren't moving. It took us about 20 minutes to reach the hotel in start and stop traffic. We expected there to be an accident or something... there wasn't anything but a lot of traffic.

This year we weren't able to renew our annual passes online due to "technical difficulties" online, so we had to go to the ticket booth before we could even check into the hotel. The lines were long, the sun was very bright and there was very little shade. So... Daniel had an extreme meltdown - complete with crying, scratching, kicking, biting, everything. My husband was trying to redirect his attention in every way, but not without some very visible battle scars.

By the time we checked in and went to the park it was mid-afternoon. We headed straight to Disneyland's City Hall for our DAS passes for the boys. It was easy (unfortunately) to show the young lady what happens if either of the boys has a meltdown - my husband was our model.

My biggest complaint was that many people we ran into this time were plain old rude. People would stop in big groups - right in the middle of the street... "Stopped walking, right there and block traffic", instead of moving out of the way. Then they'd look at other people like it was where they were suppose to be. Just blocking traffic in a very busy intersection while hundreds of people found their way around. It wasn't like it was one group of people that did this... it happened every few hundred feet with different groups of people.

I could easily get past this if it was just my husband and I, but with kiddos who just don't understand why traffic, that is supposed to keep moving has suddenly come to an abrupt stop... well, needless to say, my blood pressure started to rise quickly. If that wasn't enough, we actually had many different adults - or what looked like they should've been adults - completely cut us off while we were walking. No "excuse me" or anything, just rude - pushing their way through, not even a second thought of the little kiddos they almost knocked down.

It's easy for me to get upset at people who are ignorant of special needs children. It's really easy to get angry with people who are rude. But, for me it's really, really easy to get mad at people who are both rude and ignorant of others and special needs kiddos. Maybe it's because I was tired and more ready for a vacation than I can remember being or what, but it seemed like It didn't matter where the we went there were extremely rude people.

Most days we went into the park early, tried to be calm and patient, but ended up going back to the hotel early in the day. We worked on school work in the hotel and would go to the pool or out for a short ride. For the first time ever, we came home without even going into the park the last day we were there. Even the boys were ready to leave. We were all definitely glad to be home.

From a mother's heart - I'm not sure if there were actually more rude people this year, or I just noticed it this time. Either way, it's seems to be a growing trend so - I'm going to look for way to keep them from stealing our joy next time.
God Bless! 
*ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorder; ABA - Applied Behavior Analysis; DAS - Disability Access Service;