In Our Own Time

Did you ever wonder why certain things happen quickly and others seem to take forever. Personally, I think that it all happens as we can handle it - whatever the circumstance is. For instance, Daniel regressed almost literally overnight. It was like he went to bed this blossoming little boy trying to communicate and learn. Even starting to learn - and awoke a completely different person. Though he had exhibited autistic tendencies before this, it was not as "in your face" as it was after the regression. Virtually everything he had learned up to that point was gone. It was as if we were being shown a movie that gave clues to the ending, so it was more of a "I thought that's what was gonna happen".

Then with Anthony, we saw a completely different beginning. It was like wading into the water at the beach... you put your toe in, then your foot and knee, and before you know it the water is over your head. There were some similarities to Daniel's characteristics, but not enough to connect the dots right away. We figured it was just the "twin thing". You try to accept the initial diagnosis and work with it, but you have this nagging inside that you've seen this before. The difference was, with Daniel - he had a lot of the autistic tendencies from early on... Anthony's seemed to develop slowly. So slowly that some psychologist (who hadn't even met Anthony on anything other than paper) was sure he had Childhood Regressive Disorder (or Heller's Syndrome). This shows some of the progress of symptoms that we saw in Anthony, however, many did not fit.

As Daniel and Anthony have grown into little boys - it's really interesting to see the differences in how autism affects them. One of them is virtually non-verbal, the other has verbal skills, but not a lot of communication skill. Though they are identical twins, they have so many similarities and yet, so many differences.

                                                

                          

Everyone I have met that as a/or child(ren), a family member, or a friend with someone on the spectrum has a different story to tell. Like a snowflake, everyone has a different experience, the same result... each person must basically become their own encyclopedia on autism. When we first learn that our child is on the spectrum, we read more in a few weeks than we've probably read in years. Devouring every item that mentions autism that we can find, trying to decipher which items are true and which are rubbish. Does a special diet really help, does my child(ren) need a special diet, who do I see about it? We learn there is only so much information available on the causes that have been "verified" and many more theories which have not. There are many "treatments", but no cure.

We each find out in our own time what will benefit, where to look, who to talk to... so it goes on and on. It is truly a "learn something new every day" world for those who deal with someone on the spectrum. I think we are guided most by our children, encouraged to move forward with eagerness. Learning from them what they already seem to know... life goes on and you may as well not be distressed because in a moment it changes.

We must realize that what we learn one day may change the next. It doesn't mean what we learn at any point is irrelevant, it simply means that it may be updated. Sometimes information is true and sometimes it is simply a desire someone has for it to be true. Read, read and read some more. Learn as much as you can since you are truly your child's only (unconditional, always putting his/her interest first) advocate. And become an advocate for autism, pass on your knowledge, encourage others to learn about autism. Someone else is ready to learn.