Stress, Frustration, Who? Us?

With school break fast approaching (next week for us), I am already preparing for the meltdowns that come from being out of school. Keeping the boys busy from the time they get up until their ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) will surely be a challenge. The first thing I try to remember is that some of the same things that work with me will work with the boys. We have aggression issues with our kiddos and even though they are medicated for these we still have those outbursts of hitting, kicking and scratching at times.

You learn over time that when these behaviors occur, which things work best for each child to keep them from escalating into full blown outbursts. I've learned a lot by watching the BI's (Behavior Instructors) who work with the boys with ABA. First, trying to not give to much attention (not fully ignoring it though) - simply say firmly "no hitting" (or the unwanted behavior) and resume the activity. If they continue, have them jump, help them wiggle their arms around, movement using different body parts to get the aggression out in a more positive way. Then, again, resume the activity.

We have purchased an "indoor" jungle gym from a company called the Phunzone, you can put it together in pretty much any way you want to allow the kiddos to have something to climb on and have fun. Another purchase we've made is a mini trampoline, that the boys can jump on it inside and it's a great way to get that energy out. They will jump for hours on the trampoline - not consecutively of course but it seems like it. The trampoline is the best investment we've made for the boys to date. They are constantly on it, it seems to give them a certain "sensory input" to calm them. Whatever way you have found to defuse a situation before it becomes uncontrollable will help make your kiddos, and ultimately your life so much better.

Now, for mom and dad (aunt, uncle, cousin, and whoever else may be a caregiver for a spectrum kiddo) keeping our cool is definitely key. I heard a saying many years ago that stuck with me, "remember that what you suppress, your children express". This is true of all children, but especially ones on the spectrum. If you're not in a relatively calm state, how can you expect your "overly sensitive to sensory input" to calm down?

Everyone know the basics... breath - nice deep breaths, count to ten, remove yourself from the situation. These are great tactics, but for those of us who have kiddos with an ASD, we need a few more. I've taken a cue from my kiddos, I try to get up and move around, (when my knees let me) I can take a walk - this is a good one because it can get your kids outside, I also use the basics. If you are able to get away for a few minutes without the kiddos, do it. It may only take 5 minutes to go sit outside and breath, try to clear your mind of anything annoying. Whatever you do that helps you relax is the best way to combat frustration. I realize that I'm really not saying anything new for most people, but sometimes, we just need some ideas or a reminder.

From a mother's heart - Anyone with a special needs kiddo needs a way to de-stress - find yours.