The Good, the Sad and the Uninformed

It's a beautiful day in California today, the sun is shining and the temperature is just right - comfortable for short sleeves and jeans (even shorts for some). The type of day for which "spring fever" must have originated. The boys are on vacation this week and they have their mornings free. I am having a hard time focusing on anything myself, and the boys are working with their ABA instructors. There is, of course, the occasional problem with focusing, but hey, they are doing surprisingly well.

Yesterday I decided to "shake things up a bit", we went to the school's playground to let them play in a safe environment that has gates and a fence. They loved it! I loved it! My niece went with me, and she loved it! It was an awesome time.

Yesterday, after going to the playground, I decided to go to Sam's Club to grab a few things. I'm guessing that I missed something, or didn't do something I should have - I still haven't figured out what triggered it - but Anthony went over the edge. He was inconsolable for about half of the time we were there. We weren't there for very long, which was good for all of us. During the, we'll call it a meltdown, we encountered three people who openly paid attention to what was going on.  One older gentleman - old enough to be my dad (wanted to make me feel better? - because he leaned over to me and whispered "someone doesn't want to mind today, huh?") I quickly informed him that my son was is Autistic, and he quickly scooted along. Another gentleman with what I figure must've been his two daughters stared and then abruptly left the isle we were in. Then I kicked myself for not giving them my card on what was going on...

I was so busy trying to figure out what was going on with Anthony I didn't even think about the card until after the fact. Then I realized that I've generally given the card out to people whom I've heard make comments to me or whoever they're with. The third person we encountered actually went out of his way to try to engage Anthony and make him feel better. I realized then that there is a whole other type of people that I haven't figured out how to reach in regards to autism. Those who would stare and quickly retreat, the older generations (70 - 90 we'll say) that think that it's "cute" or "unacceptable behavior" and that they want to let us know they understand that "he/she just doesn't want to mind today".

So, this will be my next goal: trying to figure a way to connect to more people. To find a way to get the word that is "Autism" and it's meaning to even more people. To let them know these issues that are ASD, kiddos on the spectrum. To let them know that there is a whole other world out there that doesn't include them, until they find out about it that is. Education is key. With the number of kiddos being diagnosed with autism every day, it's only a matter of time before everyone is faced with someone on the spectrum.

Our kiddos are not (and I hate this word)... "retarded"; they are not "acting out" because they aren't getting there way (95 % of the time anyway); there are "sensitivities" we are still trying to figure out; there are "overloads" that we can't begin to understand. All these and more. So, please think about those who may have an "unruly child" the next time you see one. Ask if there's anything you can do to help. If you're not willing to do that, slightly smile and continue on your way. But don't say anything about "misbehaving", "throwing  a fit" or anything of the sort. Remember the kiddo may have autism, be on the autism spectrum, have ADD, ADHD, or any other disorder that "short circuits" the way they are able to handle the moment they're in.

From a mother's heart - I hope this blog came out right... Bottom line: try to be understanding of those around you, not judging or make unnecessary comments.