Time to Learn and Grow

It's very interesting that many people with atypical kiddos (those not on the autism spectrum) generally expect there children to learn like, at the very least, an average child. They expect their child to learn at the same or similar rate to their peers.

Unfortunately many parents (or guardians) are expecting the same for their special education children. Yes, they may be delayed, they may have difficulties in some area(s), but they should at least learn like their peers with similar issues, right? Wrong! The plain truth is, ready for this, there is no average child  - (s)he does not exist. Neither typical nor atypical, there is no such thing as an average child. They may have things they do that are similar, they may learn at a similar pace, but the average child does not exist. We all want the perfect child - they don't exist either. All children are UNIQUE, SPECIAL and completely their own INDIVIDUAL. Just the way, I believe, GOD made them.

So, how can we expect our children to benefit most from education; growth in the areas they need; excel at life? School, trial and error, osmosis? The answer is so obvious, most of us miss it at first. Us. The parents, the guardians, the caregivers, siblings, etc. We are our child's first advocate and teacher. I'm not saying that we can teach them everything they need to know, but most parents who have the ability to be involved with their child's upbringing needs to be constantly watching. Watching for speech, for motor skills (touching, picking things up, walking, etc.) for all the developmental milestones they should be reaching. Don't freak out if they don't meet them immediately, the guidelines are just that, guidelines. But don't turn a blind eye because you don;t want to have a special needs kiddos.

We've heard it over and over again, everyone knows that we need to read to our children, help them with school work (if that's an option), talk to them. It is up to us to "figure out" what is going on. At the very least, we need to interact with our children on some level as often as we can. Talk to everyone else in their "circle", what are they experiencing with your kiddo. Where do they need help, assistance, guidance, praise?

This chart is a crude representation of the things that will influence our children when it comes to what they will learn. I learned this in a parenting class we took several years ago.I know I've missed some, but I think you get the general idea. Everyone our children interacts with will influence them in some way, whether it's obvious at the time or not.

Remember that no one comes out of the womb as a full grown person, with all of the knowledge and skills they need for life. We all start from square one. The world is ours for the taking. We learn at our own pace, we learn to appreciate certain things and people over time. We even need time to decide our likes and dislikes, our strengths and weaknesses.

We have a basic "time table" that we impose upon ourselves and our children as to what age they should "learn" this or that. So they can have their "skill set" ready by the time we say they are an adult. There are many schools of thought out there, but combining and figuring out an "average", the human brain does not become fully mature until... wait for it... 25 -35 years old. Yet we are telling our kiddos that by the time they reach 18 years old, they should have the information needed to "be an adult".

From a mother's heart - Early intervention is they key for kiddos with autism, and I think for everyone. We shouldn't expect Mozart's or Picasso's, but we can set them up to be best them they can be.