The Same, But Different

Most days the boys stim (self-stimulating behavior) for one reason or another, it's their way to help themselves feel better. Most people on the spectrum do. It  provides a sense of clam, security and peace. Like kiddos that cannot be without their favorite teddy, pacifier or favorite blanket. It meets a sensory need, it's a comfort for them. Autistic kiddos like things that have a specific movement, sight, feel or sound. Most all the kiddos I've met so far with ASD (autistic spectrum disorder) are fascinated by objects going round and round (like wheels, spinning tops, etc.). Sounds like a "big" truck, chimes, bells, music, etc. The feel of a certain fabric whether to the touch or chewing. Then there's sight, many spectrum kiddos seem to be fascinated with details, they will study something, sometimes for hours. It's almost an obsession for them.

When the boys get overly excited about something, another type of stimming behavior shows up... flapping, jumping, clapping, are just a few. This is pure joy.

Then there are also those things that can set off a need to stim, or be the cause of a meltdown. For our babes they include: certain fluorescent lights, loud speakers with loud music. These things can change from time to time as well, for instance, Anthony once loved birds, they would set off the hand flapping and jumping. Then came a time when he would positively "freak out" if a bird landed in our back yard. He still isn't comfortable if birds are to close, but he loves when a group of Canada Geese fly over in their formation and are honking to each other.

This is just another way that someone on the spectrum is the same, but different than a stereotypical kiddo. They seek comfort in whatever way they know helps them; they get "super" excited about some things like anyone else; they are made uncomfortable by certain things. The same in many ways as those who are not on the spectrum. But different in how they express themselves and how they communicate.

As kiddos on the spectrum learn to communicate with the stereotypical world, they learn what they can and can't do for "stimming". The sad part is it's part of who they are. Some things are definitely not acceptable to do in public, however, except for those, most stims are "redirected" or"exchanged" to more acceptable ones. Funny thing is that stereotypical stims are generally outgrown, hidden or accepted. For example, tapping one's pencil, clicking nails, snapping gum, chewing the end of a pencil, having a "sleep buddy" (teddy bear or something), a pacifier, etc.

So I've come to the conclusion that we need to start looking past the exterior and see who's on the inside. See what makes someone else who they are.

From a mother's heart - please remember that we are all the same, we simply have different ways of expressing ourselves. We are all the same, but different.