Naps, Disruptions and Senses

Two very tired boys makes for a... quiet afternoon. Nice in some ways, however, for those with kiddos on the spectrum - a little quiet in the afternoon can make for a very loud and energized little one in the early morning hours, and I mean early hours. Add to that ADD or ADHD and you could be in for an early wake up call (1 a.m. , 2 a.m., etc) that, like the energizer bunny, keeps you all up into the next day. At least until the kiddo(s) drop again from sheer exhaustion.

Between potty training, ABA (applied behavior analysis), appointments, errands and 4th of July, we've been going non-stop for the past 3 weeks. The hardest part for us is trying to make a "temporary change" in our schedule. As any one who has dealt with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) can tell you, schedule changes can cause disruptions, sometimes pretty intense disruptions. Especially if the one on the spectrum isn't having a good day to begin with. In fact, that is one thing that autistic kiddos have to learn, a form of flexibility that intentionally teaches them they aren't always going to know what will happen next. It messes with the "sameness" they are most comfortable with. I imagine it to be pretty frightening. One thing we do is to at least use familiar phrases when we do things that are not on the "schedule". For instance, if we are going to a store, we call it "going on errands". If we have an appointment, we say "so and so" has an appointment with "xxx"...  We will say the same thing every time, no exception. We try to take the same way to familiar places and it seems to comfort  them. If the place is not familiar, we will remind them every so often where we are going, and point out something around us, like the trees or something.

Imagine having your senses challenged just to understand and communicate with a world that isn't consistent. Then imagine having the comfort of a "set" schedule, which allows you to have some order to your day. And then, once again imagine having that comfort removed without so much as an explanation as to why. Or maybe with an explanation you can't understand and have no choice but agree to. Kiddos on the spectrum generally need a certain amount of "sameness" in their lives. They need a schedule to keep things consistent. Not all little ones that have disruptions in their day will meltdown, but as the day progresses and tiredness settles in, the less tolerance they have for unexpected events.

For those with autistic kiddos, friends or someone else you know who has ASD, remember that change of routine is not as easy for them as you think it may be. It may be no big deal or it could be a very big deal. You never know what the repercussions may be. It could be anything from a small meltdown to disrupting sleep. It can disrupt the day for a few minutes or carry over for several days. The hardest part for us is getting back to routine, as if the boys expect or anticipate another interruption in their schedule.

Some people are helped by being told in advance that the schedule will be disrupted, so they can get use to it. Some kiddos benefit from having a daily schedule which shows that something different is being worked in. Still others find that they have to deal with every disruption individually.

From a mother's heart - it doesn't matter what your schedule may be, knowing in advance how your kiddo will react is half the battle - it can help you anticipate what they will need to make for a smooth transition.