I'm Listening

Now, of course I am quite biased... But, I think we have been blessed with two of the most beautiful, special, identical twin boys. After waiting years for our babes, it seems almost cruel to not be able to converse with them in a way you would expect for kiddos who are 5 years old. Don't get me wrong, it makes for a joyful celebration around our home any time the boys connect with us. The times when we all realize that we are indeed in agreement as to what it is we are trying to communicate. I find myself imagining the most basic of conversations we might have some day...           

1. "So, how was school?"    "Fine."
2. "What did you do in school today"    "You know... stuff"
3. "What did you like most about today?"        "Don't know"
4. What did you dislike most today?        "Not sure."

I hear other moms complain that their kiddos never talk to them. I wonder if the kids really don't talk to them... are they asking the right questions... was it simply a one word response, or were the moms just not listening to what they are saying. I want to make this perfectly clear... I am not judging anyone and it actually tickles me because these type of complaints about conversations between parents and their kids have been going on for years (probably since the beginning of spoken language). Every time I hear it from anyone, I think these things. I wonder if my kiddos were "typical" if I would also be saying the same things.

I would love to hear the simple one word response from my guys, or standard kiddo response - just know that they heard me and were answering me in proper context. I love my boys, but I honestly want to scream sometimes: "answer me! when I talk to you" I would never actually do this, and besides, if I did It would be pointless of course. ASD makes it so hard sometimes, it's just an ache to hear my babes respond verbally. I imagine if I ever even uttered those words,  I would probably get the following looks:

Then my heart would melt, and I'd remember that they communicate so much with their eyes and actions. I know we will find the right way to communicate as time goes on. To hear the answer come from them without being prompted. I know that many parents are in the same boat. For our kiddos, one has so many words, I've lost count. The other is pretty well non-verbal, he communicates - repeats by rote only. He does fairly well at verbal imitation, however, he mostly mumbles at this point - which we hope is only temporary.

So, for now, we continue on with the ABA, school and whatever we can do to prompt them to talk. But no matter what happens, we try to make sure to let them know: I'm listening.

From a mother's heart - God bless all those waiting for those words to come out (kiddos and parents alike).