Lost in Translation

One thing every parent knows, whether they realize what it's called or not, is manding. Manding is just a fancy way of saying requesting. For many children on the autism spectrum requesting seems to be a foreign concept. Not like typical kiddos who simply need to be taught, kiddos with ASD generally need to be taught over and over and over before they get it. They know they want something, They know "what" they want, but they have a hard time learning how to get it across to others. It gets lost somewhere in the translation. Most kiddos who on the spectrum get frustrated easily enough because of the barriers they face. This is of course from my own observation, my own reading, and not from any "noted" source at this time. I'm sure there is proper research out there on this particular topic, but I haven't stumbled on yet, so for now I'll use the information I have.

The other major issue I've noticed with kiddos on the spectrum is the lack of understanding emotions. They also have to be taught what facial expressions are and mean. There is no concept of how someone else feels. They also seem to have a hard time learning to connect their emotions with the technical term for the emotion. In ABA the kiddos will be (generally) be taught with emotions with flash or picture cards. Usually it starts out with two pictures of an emotion (we'll say - happy): they are taught to "put with" one emotion card with it's match; next they are to "give me" the emotion card requested; then they will begin actual emotions on real people. In the beginning, asking them what they are feeling is basically an act in futility (for them as well as you), it's like you're speaking a foreign language. They generally are trying to understand, but again, it's lost in translation.

Anytime you are dealing with children on the spectrum, like typical children, you must have patience. You have to realize that it may take a hundred repetitions for a child to get something you are trying to teach them. Just like when they are trying to communicate with you and get frustrated, they will get just as frustrated when your words don't make sense to them. Just try to keep your cool and realize that they aren't trying to be difficult or trying - they truly are not making the connection.

I realized recently that everyone has that moment when they are trying to explain something to someone else, and the words... just... won't... come to you. No matter what, you just can't seem to get your thought across to the other person. You are having, what we call in our family, a "brain fart". That realization was an epiphany for me. Those are definitely the times, when trying to connect with another person, when no matter how hard you try... something gets "lost in translation".

From a mother's heart - take time to breath, gather your thoughts, and be patient.