Reaction Time

How many times have you said something to a little one only to think it's taking forever for them to answer or do what you've asked? We learned through special education, articles and ABA that you should wait no less than 5 seconds before expecting any response. It takes at least 5 seconds for the typical child to "take in" what they've been asked, process and answer the question. It generally takes a bit longer for someone with an ASD. Now, you may not get the right answer, but at least you should receive an answer and know you were heard. The same goes for when you ask your child to do something. I've watched for over two years while my boys have done ABA (also a special education class) and noticed that depending on the circumstances, they may take more than 5 seconds to respond. Now, I don't know the reason always, but I have figured out that there is always a reason as to why.

We have found that even though they are autistic and they have days when they just aren't "available" for learning, there are also other reasons why they may take longer to respond. Our boys never went through the "terrible twos" but... they have been going through something very similar lately. I realize that this stage is simply the need to "figure" things out on their own, test their boundaries, etc. It doesn't make things any easier for a parent when a little one goes through that stage. This causes them to test  anyone trying to work with them, for example, they will see how far they can go without responding. They will see if they can get the person working with them to do the work for them.

Learning new ways to get them to do what you are requesting just causes us to be more "creative" in order to deal with the issues. I have found by watching the boys doing their ABA that there are days when they are (now, ready for this?) purposely not doing what they are suppose to do. In the beginning ABA and special education use a technique called "error-less learning" when the instructor will "help" the child make the correct choice. They will tap the correct answer, use hand over hand to guide or say the verbal answer for them to copy. This builds self-esteem, helps the child want to learn and they receive "praise" and/or a "preferred item" they have worked for. The only problem I've noticed with my boys is that they have figured out (like most kiddos will) that if they don't feel like working, they're more than happy to sit there and do nothing... letting the instructor do the work. Kiddos are smarter than we give them credit for and we have to learn to be smarter or "crafty" in order to get the upper hand, so-to-speak.

Together with our ABA team, we have learned that by "waiting out" the boys when asking them to do something will help to get them to respond more often. Instead of asking them something and counting to five before giving them the answer, we've started waiting ten seconds or a little longer for the answer (or action). They start realizing that they are being waited out and get bored, or realize they aren't going to have it done for them. Then, WOW, they start working again. It doesn't work every time, but it does help. They are so proud of themselves when they know they've done too. You can usually see it in their face, eyes or posture.

We have figured out that some of the other reasons our boys will avoid working are, but not limited to: not feeling well, over tired, hungry, upset, doesn't "click" with the person they're working with or they just want to be outside. I realize that many typical kiddos go through similar things, the only difference I've seen for myself is that autistic kiddos in particular seem to need more time to understand what's being asked of them. They learn like typical kids that there are certain things they can get away with if they don't "feel" like doing something. Spectrum kiddos just need a little more time.

From a mother's heart... we could all use a little more reaction time and patience.