Meltdown, Episode or Tantrum

Meltdown... Episode... or Tantrum...

These are things virtually every parent with an autistic child will deal with (or at least most that I've spoken to) at some point or another. Whether it's daily, weekly or monthly. The meltdown is usually caused when a child on the spectrum has a specific want that has not been met and over time, a total loss of control will occur. We've noticed it also happens when they become overwhelmed, overtired or over stimulated. Usually in the middle of a task that they may not wish to be doing or is overly challenging. The quickest way to tell whether it's a meltdown or a tantrum is, with a meltdown the child pays no attention to those around him/her, they don't care what reaction they are getting. It is not attention seeking. Meltdowns occur, usually intensify and then wind down once it has run it's course. During the meltdown the child is not concerned with getting hurt or hurting someone else. It is not about control, it actually shows that no one is in control or can take control. Absolutely nothing will satisfy the child until the meltdown is over. When the meltdown is over, the kiddos are exhausted.

The Episode (which I have come up with - it's not "official" or clinical*) is similar to a meltdown, however, it's when the child seems perfectly happy or calm - and then, for no apparent reason, they will "meltdown". At first I thought it was a form of depression because our boys can be laughing one moment, having fun and the next completely go off. There appears to be absolutely no reason for it, and it doesn't happen that often. The child on the spectrum also has this look on their face that says - "what just happened?" they seem as confused by it as we are. Like the meltdown, it must run it's course - most times our boys will fall asleep not long after the episode has ended. We have noted that the "episode" will begin instantaneously and end just as quickly, it doesn't "wind up or down", it also shows us that no one is in control, or trying to take control.

These can also be the times you hear about where the person needs to be held tight or squeezed, so they can either get their aggression out or regulate themselves "out of" the episode. One family member had to be restrained while kicked, screamed and hit wildly until they calmed down. After that episode, they remembered nothing about it. The confusion in the beginning and nothing afterward. This was also before diagnosis, which made it scarier because no one knew what was happening.

My theory: when some on the spectrum becomes over-tired, overwhelmed or over-stimulated and can't focus anymore, the brain releases some chemical which "triggers" the breakdown. I am not a doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist. I am only writing from the view point of a parent who has noticed there are differences in the actions and behaviors of each.

We have found that the "meltdown" can be shortened if the signs are seen quickly enough. Caught before it escalates: redirection, a walk outside or (what we use) a pressure and/or weighted vest can sometimes shorten the length of the meltdown. The episode must completely run it's course, there is no "shortening it", there is nothing you can do until they are exhausted and it is over.

The tantrum is evident to most everyone... the child (atypical or autistic) is trying to manipulate someone into doing or giving them something they want. They will cry, scream, yell, throw themselves on the floor, etc. However, unlike the meltdown or episode, they will not try to hurt themselves or anyone else. The tantrum will end abruptly if the child gets what they want. The child feels like (s)he is in control.  As a parent, even though the kiddo is autistic, we cannot allow our kiddos to take control of the situation. The same as an atypical child, the spectrum child learns that they can manipulate situations.

In each of the cases noted above, all the classes we've taken (at our local city college), from other blogs and articles, and from different sources online, you should fight your instincts and leave the child alone. Make sure they don't get hurt, of course, but you must give them time to work through what they are going through (or to adjust their behavior if they are having a tantrum). With the meltdown and episode, if they need pressure or weight, a vest works well. We all want to hold our child and squeeze them to help them feel better. However, remember with breakdown and episodes, no one is in charge.

The main reason we cannot interfere (unless they or someone else is in danger of harm) with the meltdown or episode, is that they must learn how to cope with it on their own. I have noticed that the longer the boys have done ABA, the less often they occur. Also, the boys learn to seek what they need as time passes. For instance, both boys know when they need a hug to comfort them, or if they need, they will ask for their vest.

No one likes it when there child is acting out, especially when we're in public. Others certainly don't understand - unless they know someone with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and have had it explained to them. Until we as parents and caregivers can boldly say "my child has autism" to those "spectators", nothing will change. They will simply see a "spoiled brat". All because they haven't been enlightened to the fact that there are other reasons children behave the way they do at these times.

A great article on meltdowns and tantrums can be found here:         

 http://www.autism-causes.com/the-meltdown.html

From a mother's heart - the next time you see a child having what seems like a tantrum, remember - it may not be.