No Apologies...

When we go out to a store or other places, I find myself saying  "please excuse" my son(s) for something socially unacceptable they've done. Then I will go a step further and explain that they have autism. Many people will say something like: no apology needed or something to that effect. Some people have asked me how I can apologize for them having autism.

#1 - I am not apologizing, I'm asking for the behavior to be excused - "to explain in hope of being forgiven or understood"  (per http://www.thefreedictionary.com/excused).  #2 - I see it as an opportunity to inform or communicate with someone about the disorder. For example, if a woman (or a man with longer hair) is crouched down looking at something on a bottom shelf in the store, Daniel will go up and start playing with their hair. So, I politely explain: "please excuse him, he has autism and loves hair." I have not had any bad experience (to date) with explaining it this way. Most people will say that it isn't a problem.

There are other times that the boys will see something on a shelf that catches their interest and will "charge" for that item. If someone is standing in front of the item, they will push through to get to it. Then I will again say "please excuse" my son(s) - he/they have no cause of personal boundaries. He/they have autism, and again - this generally opens the door for communication. Even if it's a brief conversation, I know I've planted seeds, seeds that I hope will grow into either acceptance or understanding some day.

For those less patient, more judgmental or vocal about the way my kiddos act, for those who give that look (if you have kiddos on the spectrum - you know the look) if the boys have a meltdown. I have made up cards to hand the person.

More and more when something happens and I mention autism, the door is opened and someone will share with me that they have a child, a friend or family member that has ASD (autistic spectrum disorder). While it's great to have more understanding and more conversations with others about autism. It breaks my heart to know (and verify) the reality that more and more kiddos are being diagnosed with ASD.

Since you can rarely tell that someone has a spectrum disorder, people generally don't understand what autism is until you explain it. Unfortunately sometimes it takes an "outbreak" of something before people will really pay attention to it. No one bats an eye at anything anymore unless it affects them. (Probably not a completely true statement, but it expresses what I see a lot.)

From a mother's heart - Don't be afraid to explain that your kiddo has ASD to anyone. If your little one does something that isn't "socially acceptable" ask that they "excuse" the behavior, never apologize.
God Bless!