Breakthrough Moments

Every once in a while, every once in a great, great while... something wonderful will happen. Something so wonderful that you can actually forget, for just a moment, that your child has autism. They will give you a smile and there will be this beautiful "sparkle" in their eye that says: "Hi! It's me! I'm right here looking at you! I love you!" (At least that's what it seems to communicate). There are also those moments on another level, where your child will do something that you totally understand, and for an instant you know exactly what they are trying to communicate to you. You actually seem to "connect". I call these breakthrough moments - those moments when your child "breaks through" and you can see the child you know to be on the inside.

                   

Then, if you watch your child very closely, and you are really lucky, you will see the most wonderful thing... your child will open up and really break through. They will actually interact with you or they will interact with someone else. In our case, we got to watch our boys interact with each other. It lasted about five minutes, then they walked away from each other as quickly as it began. It is such a rare occurrence that when it does happen, you treasure it and you that find you can't look away. There is a joy that springs up inside you, that brings tears of joy to your eyes. You just want to shout out loud, "there's my child(ren) the one(s) I see inside every time I look at my child(ren)!"

                             

When you first bring your baby home, you can watch them sleep for hours. You imagine your baby's life unfolding. Wonder what kind of person they will become, what interests will they have. You imagine that your child will command the world in some way or another. Think about possible future from crawling and walking to school, dating, marriage and maybe grand babies some day. On and on and on. But, the bubble is burst when you find out your child has autism and you learn that the dreams you had will now have to be modified.

You realize that your dreams for your child are truly just that, your dreams. You come to understand that the dreams you had are no more important than what your child will become. You just realize earlier than you would have otherwise (most find out when their child is a teenager) that they will have their own path. They will simply be different than what you expected. Now you find yourself wondering and dreaming about your child communicating, being able to socialize. To be able to take care of themselves.

There are no complaints here. If we could do everything all over again, we would not do anything different. We love our boys and even though they have to work harder than most children to fit in, they are no less awesome and very smart boys! We - like any other parent - will go through whatever we have to in order to ensure our boys have whatever they need to have the best future possible. God Bless all children everywhere!